The right fish must be out there somewhere…

I’m still relying on online dating to find me the right match. Do I have hope?…No. So why do I do it? I have no idea! It passes time and I don’t really meet guys any other way apart from a drunken kiss in a bar/club and them being a lot younger than me.

I attract some right weird people, in life and online too, my friends didn’t believe I receive so many odd messages online so I logged in and the first two were…



Seriously?! 99.99999% of the time I get boring ‘hey’ messages or weird messages like the above. Another example:


What is wrong with guys today?! No I do not want to sit on your face all day long, aside from that being uncomfortable for you I have things to do plus you’re just gross!

I’ve changed my age range I search in now to 29-35 (I’m now 30) as I know I need to stop finding younger guys, it always happens, I’d like to meet a hot mature guy who knows what he wants in life. Apparently that’s way too much to ask for and he doesn’t seem to exist but I have to have a tiny bit of hope right?! It’s not like I’m expecting to meet anyone now and I feel I have a guard up from dealing with arseholes, I just hope my turn to be happy with someone comes sometime soon…

Life is funny, it scares me as you don’t know what’s around the corner – good or bad – and it’s been a bumpy year. I thought it’d be my year but now I have to hope 2017 will be. My 30s will be my decade!

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When will I be “someone special” to someone?

That’s the question that’s really been on my mind the last 24 hours more than ever. The reason being is that I thought I’d text a guy I had a night of fun with from a short while ago and he replied saying the reason he hasn’t been in touch is because he’s met someone special. Why couldn’t I have been that someone special and he give me that chance to be?!

Thinking back over 2015 it’s happened so much where guys want to date me and we have a great time but they don’t want a relationship. If they really like me as they say they do and enjoy my company etc then why can’t we try and be in a relationship? I really don’t understand guys. I’ll be 30 next step and time isn’t slowing down at all, it’s flying by, I feel I don’t have time to waste. 

I want to meet someone special. Someone that will make me forget about memories of my ex and my feelings for him. Someone that will hug me and make me feel safe. Someone that will kiss my forehead and that will tell me he cares. Someone who isn’t afraid of his feelings. Someone that will realise I am pretty special and would do anything for the right person.

I just can’t see it happening and as each day goes by and especially after every idiot I meet my hopes are fading, I really can’t imagine meeting him, the one who will make me happy again and make me understand why I’ve been through all of this and such a tough break up over a year ago.

Til then I guess I’ll continue to try and meet decent guys, who knows what could happen, I just hope it’s all for the positive as I can’t take much more hurt and sadness…