The right fish must be out there somewhere…

I’m still relying on online dating to find me the right match. Do I have hope?…No. So why do I do it? I have no idea! It passes time and I don’t really meet guys any other way apart from a drunken kiss in a bar/club and them being a lot younger than me.

I attract some right weird people, in life and online too, my friends didn’t believe I receive so many odd messages online so I logged in and the first two were…



Seriously?! 99.99999% of the time I get boring ‘hey’ messages or weird messages like the above. Another example:


What is wrong with guys today?! No I do not want to sit on your face all day long, aside from that being uncomfortable for you I have things to do plus you’re just gross!

I’ve changed my age range I search in now to 29-35 (I’m now 30) as I know I need to stop finding younger guys, it always happens, I’d like to meet a hot mature guy who knows what he wants in life. Apparently that’s way too much to ask for and he doesn’t seem to exist but I have to have a tiny bit of hope right?! It’s not like I’m expecting to meet anyone now and I feel I have a guard up from dealing with arseholes, I just hope my turn to be happy with someone comes sometime soon…

Life is funny, it scares me as you don’t know what’s around the corner – good or bad – and it’s been a bumpy year. I thought it’d be my year but now I have to hope 2017 will be. My 30s will be my decade!

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NYC, new beginnings…

oops so I haven’t written in a while, I really want to keep up with this but it’s hard when my feelings are so up and down I find. So NYC was a great experience, it made me realise I wasn’t ready for a serious relationship though so I ended things with M when I got back, he’s so lovely so it’s such a shame but it’s not right. If I’m still thinking of my ex when with him then he’s obviously not the one so I’ll just be strong and patient until the one sweeps me off my feet and I stop thinking about my ex like that!

I rejoined the world of online dating as it’s a good distraction and even though it’s annoying a lot of the time it can be funny and you can meet the odd half decent guy who you can have a conversation with. I also met someone who is selling me my new car, which I collect in 2 weeks – exciting, and there’s something about him I really like and could see myself falling for him but he’s 6 years younger and I have a feeling I’ll get hurt. I’m being careful but don’t want to not try because I’m too scared. We ended up spending the night together last wk and had a date this wk which was really nice just relaxing watching films. I don’t know what it is about him but I feel I could really like him and that terrifies me…

I’ve decided to seriously look into finding my own little 1 bed place in Oxfordshire and it seems there are a few pet friendly places so that’s made me feel positive, now all I need to do it work out my money plan to see what is realistically affordable. I hope to move early 2016 ideally. Will keep you updated.

Also my next promotion at work is likely to be half a year or more sooner than expected, very exciting. Pay rise next month then promotion in a few months. Work is making me feel positive too. Now to transfer that to my personal life…2016 will be my year I’ve got a good feeling…

Saturday night struggles

So it’s rare im in alone on weekend nights but tonight it’s happening. I have my dog this weekend (who I share with my ex) so that’s why I’m in but also because friends are busy doing other things which means I can’t chat to anyone right now which is making me feel worse so I’m letting all my thoughts out here.

The past few weeks, as you will read from my last blog, have been a lot better for me and I’ve concentrated on planning things and looking forward. However the last few days I have struggled again, perhaps I’ll always experience these waves for a while, who knows?! I wish a year and a month later I could forget and stop reminicising but I can’t, even when I have someone else who really likes me around. I’m finding it so hard to forgive myself and so hard to forget the nearly 6 years we had together, it’s so damn hard! 

  
I’ve had quite a few dates with M now and he’s so lovely. Last weekend we went for tapas and then met with mutual friends who are a couple for drinks. It was such a nice evening and he asked me to be his girlfriend, obviously face to face I had to say yes but I wanted to aswell, I was really happy in that moment and it felt right, although we’ve only kissed a few times. Now I’m just waiting for us to move it to that next step and each day and date that passes more pressure is added and my interest will start to go unless it happens soon. I feel myself holding back and not completing opening up even though I should with him but it’s not happening and I do think it’s down to us not moving onto that next step. Tomorrow is the best opportunity we would’ve had so fingers crossed it happens finally! I’ll keep you updated. I’ve also removed POF and tinder from my phone as it was annoying me anyways with the losers on there but I feel I don’t need it now I’m with someone, I just hope I can move on with him as he is the perfect guy for me. I just need to really believe it deep down and somehow move on. How can I help myself move on?!

Plenty of fish in the sea…

This is true, there really are plenty of fish in the sea but when you’re separated your salmon from your slippy eels you’re really not left with much to fish with! That’s my experience on pof (plenty of fish) anyways.

I get very odd messages from guys, today’s latest one is a man thinking he’s a caveman which you’ll see below! Does this really work and get responses normally for them?! My hopes are dwindling by the day but it’s addictive to log on like I’d go into facebook or Instagram or Twitter, yes I’m a bit of a social media addict if you couldn’t tell!

 

If it’s not an odd message it’s just a hi or hey. I’ve even written in my profile now to not message just saying hi as I won’t respond and I still get those messages, proves that guys aren’t actually reading the profiles properly…

There is one guy I’ve messaged a few times over the weekend who is actually easy to chat to and funny but he doesn’t live too close by, typical. Still it’s nice to chat to someone for now who isn’t a complete moron!

Comment with experiences you’ve had as I’d love to hear about them and know I’m not the only one. Also I’m interested in hearing from a guy about their experiences too.