Waves of emotion

It’s been nearly a month since I last wrote. That’s mainly because work has been so busy and I’ve been doing really well, I feel I’m putting my all into my career at the moment and it’s paying off with my next promotion now due in January hopefully. The next month again will be hectic and important for me but it’s a good distraction.

I’m nearly back to square one on the love life front. R is still in my life and we are messaging lots but that’s all it is really, he’s been travelling for work lately so we will see when he’s back next month if we actually have a date finally rather than a drunken fumble. L I’ve not forgiven really since he cancelled on me and was with his mates not his family, I want someone who feels lucky to be with me so he’s a waste of space!

Since then I met someone on pof, ok he was younger and lives a bit far away but I gave it a go as he was lovely and different to the usuals online. We met half way and spent the day shopping, had lunch etc and I felt comfortable with him. But he’s had a troubled past and it showed with how he spoke to me over message sometimes and he shocked me at the weekend with his words so I’ve decided not to pursue that.

So now I nearly have a clean slate. I’ve decided to go on a date with someone who I have mutual friends with but haven’t met before. We live only a couple of minutes drive from eachother so that’s good but he is 6 years younger and has a young daughter, he’s so hot though so why not?! I haven’t had a really fun cocktail date in a while. Hope his hotness doesn’t throw me off though haha. That’s on Friday so wish me luck.

In other news I’ve been on sleeping tablets and anti depressants for nearly 3 weeks now and have my follow up doctors appointment on Friday afternoon. It’s hard to tell if they’ve helped or not yet as my emotions still come in waves and I’ve been distracted lots with work and going away with friends etc which helps a lot. I just want to meet someone that makes me feel special and who I adore so I can forget about my ex.

  

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NYC, new beginnings…

oops so I haven’t written in a while, I really want to keep up with this but it’s hard when my feelings are so up and down I find. So NYC was a great experience, it made me realise I wasn’t ready for a serious relationship though so I ended things with M when I got back, he’s so lovely so it’s such a shame but it’s not right. If I’m still thinking of my ex when with him then he’s obviously not the one so I’ll just be strong and patient until the one sweeps me off my feet and I stop thinking about my ex like that!

I rejoined the world of online dating as it’s a good distraction and even though it’s annoying a lot of the time it can be funny and you can meet the odd half decent guy who you can have a conversation with. I also met someone who is selling me my new car, which I collect in 2 weeks – exciting, and there’s something about him I really like and could see myself falling for him but he’s 6 years younger and I have a feeling I’ll get hurt. I’m being careful but don’t want to not try because I’m too scared. We ended up spending the night together last wk and had a date this wk which was really nice just relaxing watching films. I don’t know what it is about him but I feel I could really like him and that terrifies me…

I’ve decided to seriously look into finding my own little 1 bed place in Oxfordshire and it seems there are a few pet friendly places so that’s made me feel positive, now all I need to do it work out my money plan to see what is realistically affordable. I hope to move early 2016 ideally. Will keep you updated.

Also my next promotion at work is likely to be half a year or more sooner than expected, very exciting. Pay rise next month then promotion in a few months. Work is making me feel positive too. Now to transfer that to my personal life…2016 will be my year I’ve got a good feeling…